If you….

I always advice people dun drink and drive. Now I advice you, dun drink and type. Cos I drank cough mixture and took flu tablets and I was just sitting in front of my lappy and typing. And lotsa rubbish came out. I love and hate the computer.

I love the computer cos I can write stuff and delete them anytime. I hate the computer cos it carries too much of my secrets and I cant take it and burn it away jus like letters.

Well, having drunk and devoured flu tablets + cough medicine this is wat I get -

Quite cool to be able to list out such wonderful things. Cos lotsa things went thru my brain and these tots jus came out automatically. Guess these are my deepest emotions….

If you are upset, I’ll hear your troubles.If you are sad I’ll share your sorrows.If you are hurt I’ll tend to your woundsIf you are unhappy I’ll make you smile.If you are angry (with me), tell me, as I dun mean to anger you.If you are angry (not with me), Don’t vent it on me.If you are smiling, I’ll make you laugh.If you are lonely I’ll keep you company.If you need a friend, I’ll be there for you.If you need encouragement, ill give you a pat on your back.If you need to cry, I’ll lend you my shoulder.If you need an extra vote, I’ll give you my support.If you need my support, I’ll give you a hand.If you need a hand, I’ll throw in my strength.If you need my strength, I’ll give my all.If you need warmth, I’ll give you a hug.If you need love, I’ll give it unconditionally.All by me…. Ah ber…. really high rite…. hahahaha….

Loving Yourself for Relationship Peace of Mind

Loving Yourself for Relationship Peace of Mind

Do you constantly worry about your relationship? Do you doubt your partner’s feelings for you? Are you withholding love because you’re afraid to invest in a relationship you feel may not last? Do you feel suspicious and anxious when your partner fails to meet your demands?

One of the basic tenets of a healthy, loving relationship is “Thou shalt trust thy partner”. Feeling insecure about a relationship is not a good sign; in fact, doubt and jealousy can very often kill a relationship even without a third party.

If you’re feeling difficulty in trusting your partner, ask yourself whether you even trust yourself. Do you believe in your value? Do you respect and love yourself? Insecurity about a relationship and about our partner often stems from our own insecurity about ourselves.

When we don’t love ourselves, we don’t believe that we deserve love. That’s why we doubt our partner’s feelings for us. We think that it’s too good to be true. And so we try to validate our suspicions. Instead of investing love into the relationship, we make demands. We rationalize it by thinking that if our partner truly loves us, they’ll do whatever we want. But that’s not love; that’s slavery.

Try imagining things the other way round. How would you feel if your partner kept asking about your whereabouts, about your friends, and what you’re doing? How would you like it if your partner kept doubting your feelings for them? How would you feel if every little mistake you made them suspicious or angry? Nobody likes someone breathing down their necks, monitoring and questioning their every word or act.

Trust between partners is essential for a happy, healthy, lasting relationship. But first you have to learn to trust yourself. Trust in your own attractiveness and abilities. Trust that you’re good enough to be loved and appreciated and that your partner is not going to run off with some hot hunk or babe the moment you’re not around.

You may not even be physically attractive in the popular sense, but a couple stay together for much much more than just physical attractiveness. You have to develop a healthy sense of self-worth in your own uniqueness. There is only one You, so work on what makes you special. Your family loves you. Your friends love you. Your partner loves you. How could you not love yourself?

Look into the mirror today and embrace yourself. This is the only person you’ll ever be, so enjoy it. When you’re happy with yourself, it shows. Self-love is radiant and attractive. Remember, a happy relationship requires two self-assured, emotionally-independent, mutually-trusting partners.

A Slice of Life is written, produced and presented by Eugene Loh unless otherwise stated. If you wish to share the scripts with others, please credit it to ‘Eugene Loh, A Slice of Life, 938LIVE, a station of MediaCorp Radio’.

If you had money would it bring you happiness?

Adapted from Bar Advice

If you had money would it bring you happiness?

Falling in love is usually rated as the strongest source of positive emotion. People report euphoria, excitement, affection, contentment, laughing. Research shows that the more sex someone has, the happier he or she is(for both men and women).

The stronger ties to friends someone has, the happier he or she is.Research shows again and again that the most important factor in happiness is having good interpersonal relations, with friends, family, and lovers.

At times it can seem paradoxical, because many of us think we can hardly wait to get home and be alone with nothing to do! Most guys think that having more money will make them happier. In fact, many put off meeting women and having a social life to
further their careers. Studies show people making $100,000 dollars are no happier than those making $30,000 dollars.

And studies show that guys making lots of money have no more sex or more sexual partners than guys living on a paycheck week to week, because they typically work longer hours, have less leisure time, and have more stress. I know what you’re saying to yourself, “Give me lots of money and I’ll show you I can be happy”. Well here were not talking about someone striking the lottery or getting a in inheritance. Then again, what makes you think people that get that become happier?

In fact, study after study shows that it’s the people who are alone with nothing to do who are typically the most unhappy. Almost universally, whether extroverted or introverted, people feel happier when they’re with other people. BELONGING is a great
source of pleasure. We want to feel part of a group, whether it be with a lover, a set of friends, or a family. So being social and feeling content and happy go hand in hand. Happy people not only have more social interactions, they’re also of a higher quality.

Quality in relationships is as important as quantity. Research shows that people want confidants, people in whom they can confide, more than just friends with whom they can “hang out”. People want intimacy. It’s the deeper relationships that allow companionship and confiding that makes people happy.

To form a close relationship involves an increasing level of self-disclosure, and without it people will still be lonely even if they have many “contacts”. Studies have found that adults who had plenty of friends and spent a lot of time with them were still lonely because they talked about impersonal topics, such as sports and pop music, rather than about their real concerns.

Have you ever laid down in bed with a partner and just talked about your younger days? What about how your parents treated you? Laughed about how you got punished for stupid stuff you did? Talked to your partner about their concerns in the relationship? Things like this brings happiness from the other because they feel cared for and their partner is communicating with them.

All the scientific research, by a landslide, confirms that developing your social skills and your social relationships, be it work, family of personal, is the most promising path to happiness.

Bar advice.You don’t need lots of money to do any of these things, just a new
understanding of reality and a solid foundation in the school of social interaction.

Cherished or Cheated?

Adapted from Bar Advice

I know that it’s not as often that women cheat as opposed to guys doing it but this one I write is meant for the women to be aware. So often women settle for less. They think that “knights” are found in fairy tales, or they buy into the too-many-women-too-few-men ratio hype. Many don’t even hold guys to chivalrous standards any more, accepting what comes their way is as a reflection of the changing times.

In essence, they’re cheating themselves.

WHY BEING CHERISHED IS IMPORTANT:
Life is indeed bittersweet. There are so many variables that can’t be controlled. The loss of a loved one, illnesses, violent crimes, a son or daughter who chooses the wrong path, the boss from hell, and economic upheaval, to name a few.

The “choice” of a loving, giving mate helps to cushion the blows of life and weather its many storms. It makes people stronger. It nurtures the spirit and helps to fulfill our divine roles. Women are the backbones of society! They give life. They create homes, raise families, run offices and support dreams but you really can’t give from an empty cup!

The bottom line is this. If you’re not being cherished, you’re being cheated. So if you’re in a relationship that’s wreaking havoc with your sense of peace and your self-worth, repeat after me. “I can do better.” Add this mantra to your daily affirmations and move forward! Whoever the guy is or whatever time period you’ve been with him, trust me, you’re heading for disaster.

But first take note of how a “cherished” woman is treated…

1) If a man cherishes you, he won’t compare you to Halle Berry, or Jennifer Lopez, or his mom. He will accept you for your good and bad, and love the things that make you uniquely you.

2) He will be committed to making the relationship work. He will honor your feelings and value your thoughts. He will compromise on issues of importance so that both of your needs are fulfilled.

3) HE will support your dreams and encourage you during times of failure. He’ll take a personal interest in what you do. He doesn’t necessarily have to share your vision, but he’ll cheer you on to victory just the same.

4) When a man cherishes you, you won’t have to track him down or do headstands to get his attention and to get him to spend quality time with you. The desire to be together is mutual, and he’ll move mountains to make it happen.

5) He won’t betray your trust or reveal your secrets. Period!

6) When a man cherishes you, he won’t keep an emotional score card of what he does for you and how often. He considers it a pleasure to do things that brings his woman pleasure.

7) He won’t flee at the first sign of trouble or tragedy. That should also apply to the fact that you screwed up and got pregnant and now a baby is on the way.

If you’re in a relationship in which you are truly “cherished”, most importantly, that you cherish yourself first! Most women let the guy take over so hurt, pain, betrayal, cheating and even abuse becomes accepted by her. If you give in to this from the very start then you’re heading down the road of “doom”. I know some will take back the guy and give him a second chance.Fair enough that your soft heart tells you to do so after all his pleas and if he changes, great. If not then live with it.

Bar advice. Learn to cherish yourself and make him understand it by showing him the way first. You won’t go wrong by example. If he screws up he’ll have nothing to say.

LOVE

So excited to receive the same letter from MOE asking for my certs. Seemed like my mum is more excited than me…. this time I swear to prepare it by the earliest time possible and send it to them. And I gonna send in more certs than last time…. yeah….

So ma fan, but bo bian la, jus gotta find the motivation to do it…

Sometimes, things / people that we lose, is not a bad thing. It opens up opportunities which might be better for us. Of cos there are certain reasons why we hold on and couldn’t let go. It could be that moment when you were lowest in your life, it could be you grew up with him, it could be infatuation, it could be anything, except LOVE.

I watched HOUSE, season 1, last episode – 22. I believe his ex-wife is a bitch. Tempting him like tat and knowing that he still loves her yet she toys around his feelings…..

How can you say you love someone, when its not love you feel? Wat is love? Love motivates you to do stuff, love motivates you to show actions to that special one you love them, love doesnt stop you from hurting that person, but love makes you wan to kill yourself when you hurt them, Love is not only a feeling. Feelings are jus illusionary. They cheat you, they blur your vision. Feelings play you out. Feelings makes you lose control of yourself, your senses, your sanity.

So ironic. We think we love someone but its not love at all. Love motivates and cultivates. It never destroys…. SO, I LOVE MYSELF.

Phil

Ever since yesterday I found out how people look at me, I slept very soundly, but woke up at 7am when I was supposed to wake up at 8am, got changed, then looked at the clock again…. chey its still 1 hour early…. so went back to sleep again, then jump up for work cos forgot to set alarm clock…..

For the whole morn, while in the water for 2 hours, I kept thinking about stuff. But I am not depressed. I am not going up the mountain. I jus needed chocolates badly…. heehee… and luckily I found cadbury chocolates at home…. yeah… my fav chocolates….

And I went on to apply for a teaching position again…. this time, a PE teacher. If this time I dun get in, means I will most prob NEVER get in again…. so no point trying anymore and focus on something else.

Why is it, certain things have to work certain ways. Why is it, another man’s meat is another man’s poison (meaning I like it, but to you its crap). Why no one trust me when I am able to do wat i sought out to do?

Being gals are never fair…. rite? Alwite, I’m jus a normal gal and I am not fair. I dun play fair, I keep saying we are equal but actually we are not cos as gals, we normally expect the guys to give in to us most of the time. And guys normally think gals are petty and stuff like tat. Life is never fair.

Sometimes, in fact, all of the time, life could be better, if you look in a positive aspect of it. But damn it. I can look positive but the people ard me are negative. They dun believe. They dun trust. They doubt. They have their own mindset and thinking.

How do I write a whole list of things I want and dun want? Certain things I can accept, certain things I cannot. But I dun keep them on my mind the whole time that I can write down a list….. things like tat has to be discovered along the way isnt it rite?

I dunno. I am confused. People are like tat. When you yourself do something wrong, you dun see it, you refuse to admit it. But when people are doing wrong things, you see it immediately and try to correct it. It happens to everyone of us. Why is human nature like tat? Why cant people jus accept people as they are and jus live with it? is it so unbearable that we cannot live together?

Like friends with PMS, I still love them, although when they PMS, i stay away or try to entertain them to be happy. Like junior who always licks me, i learn to accept that his licking is a way of telling me he loves me. Like jared, even though he is so mischievious, I learnt to understand if he didnt love me, he wun disturb me at all. So why people cannot accept who I am?

Am I jus a free loader? Am I jus a bum, bumping around doing nothing good? Am I jus a bo chap person? Am I stupid to be in the shit now? Am I the worst person on the earth? I am sure, its NO NO NO NO. I am not. Then why I get the feeling that people have such impressions of me? Why do people like to pick out my faults and then criticise me like I have no self-esteem or dignity? HEY, focus on my good points can or not? I am not always rite, but I cant be always wrong all the time also….. give me some credit. Give me a chance to live my life and enjoy every part of it.

I hate you ber. You are forever like tat. So uncertain, so fickle minded (ok cos I AM A GAL ok – so its nothing wrong), pls go and find someone who really knows who you are and accepts you as you are…..if not your problems will not end. Cos if 2 persons dun see eye to eye with each other, habis….especially if both are stubborn people.

I am a stubborn BULL. I am me. I am like tat. Die lor. If I dun give way, I will poke people with my horns lor….. then how? If i poke you will you still love me? or will you jus kill the bull and eat its balls (like spainish people do)….

Die la. I wish I had balls.

PS: Startin all over again, will it help? I doubt.

TAURUS

TAURUS 

Taurus is the Second Sign of the Zodiac, represented by the Bull which is prized for strength and stamina. The Egyptian Horus was the Bull of Heaven and a white bull was sacrificed in Babylonia at the time of the New Year to placate Ramman, the God of Thunder and Lightning. Taurus peacefully tends and nurtures Spring’s garden, bringing forth harmony from chaos. Like the Bull, Taurus does not move unless there is something worth moving for. Taurus likes to keep a firm hand on possessions and nothing makes this Sign happier than secure material prosperity. Taurus craves the good things in life. Dominated by the romantic Planet of Venus, Taurus is deeply loving with strong values, but can be slow to make decisions. Earthbound with worldly goals and in tune with nature, Taurus is the most reliable and faithful Sign of the Zodiac. In essence, Taurus governs practicality and security.

Also known as the Sign of the Producer or Builder, Taurus is Negative in polarity (as are Cancer, Virgo, Scorpio, Capricorn and Pisces). The general characteristics of Negative Signs lean toward introversion and prefer to draw upon personal resources rather than look for external stimuli. Such individuals are naturally more receptive, sensitive and nurturing than are the Zodiac Signs of Positive polarity (Aries, Gemini, Leo, Libra, Sagittarius and Aquarius). However, Negative Signs are also likely to be much more cautious, retiring and standoffish than their Positive counterparts with a tendency to keep personal feelings under tight control. Taurus is the most introverted of the Negative Signs (with Virgo a close second).

All Zodiac Signs governed by the Elements of Earth and Water are considered to be Feminine in nature. Thus, Taurus (ruled by earth) is considered Feminine (as are Cancer, Virgo, Scorpio, Capricorn and Pisces). Feminine Signs are traditionally conceived as being more receptive and less active than their Masculine counterparts which are ruled by the Elements of Fire and Air (the Zodiac Signs of Aries, Gemini, Leo, Libra, Sagittarius and Aquarius). Feminine Signs focus primarily on the emotional and material world with particular attention to sensitivity and depth of feeling. Feminine Signs are said to be noctural or night-oriented. Therefore, the term “feminine” should be viewed in the same light as the Yin (or dark) Polarity of the Tao.

Taurus is the natural ruler of the Second House of the Zodiac, commonly referred to as the “House of Material Possessions” and known in Vedic Astrology as the “Gate of Hades.” This is the field which challenges an individual to define and refine his or her personal sense of values. The things and qualities that a person treasures, cherishes and enjoys are to be found here. This is the area of personal security and gain…money, employment, possessions and life’s simple pleasures, as well as its luxuries. The Second House is concerned with ethics, morals, integrity and priorities…what an individual “stands for” and what influences that individual’s choices in life. In addition to personal values, this house is traditionally associated with inner and outer talents and resources. The Second House is governed by the Planet Venus (which is also Planetary Ruler of the Seventh House).

The opposite sign to Taurus is Scorpio. From Scorpio, Taurus can learn to recognize the needs of others. Thus, can Taurus natives gain insight not only into the motives of others, but also into their own.

Positive Traits: practical, reliable, patient, persistent, determined, strong-willed, solid, affectionate, warm-hearted and trustworthy with a firm sense of values

Negative Traits: possessive, jealous, lazy, self-indulgent, greedy, boring, unoriginal, stubborn and inflexible in opinion

Likes: permanency, stability, luxury, comfort, pleasure and good food

Dislikes: disruption, being rushed, being indoors, being pushed too hard and any break in routine.

http://www.novareinna.com/constellation/taurus.html

Ready or not

Isn’t it good to have committment? Isn’t it good to be ready?

Seriously, it could be the past that is hindering me. A past that really did happened. There are experiences, knowledge, residues and fear gained from the past that unwittngly, unknowingly enter my present life. Not that I liked it to happen and allow it to interfere with my present life, the fear is always there. And the fear surfaces at the each slight change in anything.

Blame it on my life experiences, but there are certain things that I have gone thru and I dun think I would be able to survive them should it happens again. It is true that one usually emerges stronger after each trial in life, but I also know that the next trial in life might just kill me.

Of cos, being positive and trusting tat new things, new experiences, new people in my life, a new journey, a new future, a better tomorrow, a better everything should and will happen it the thing that I heard so very often. But who can guarantee, who can give me back my youth, my freedom, my space, my time, my effort, my life and everything I sought to invest to make myself a better future?

People change – and everyone knows tat. I would be positive to say that people, things, circumstances, surroundings, events change for the better. And I would be negative to say it would be my worst nightmare. But everyone is telling me to try and how would i know if I didnt try? But the thing is, even before I try, I am already demoralized about lotsa things, how can I ever trust a foundation when the basics are not sufficient for me to feel confident about?

Terence asked me, if I was a risk taker. There were so many risks I have taken, and failed. I need to believe, I need to trust, I need to let go – of myself….. I guess the problem lies with me, the fear of myself, the fear of changes, the fear of committment, the fear of everything (No wonder Junior is such a scardy cat….. he inherited his fear from ME). And I know that fear resides in everyone of us. Many a time I hear people saying, “Let go of your fear”

I dun wish to let go of my fear, take a risk, gamble with my life as a bet. If I won, indeed it would be a risk well taken, an investment well done. But wat if I lose, again? There are so many things I cannot control. So wat are the odds tat I will win or lose?

Just having love in your heart, just missing someone in your head and wanting someone in bed doesn’t sustain a relationship. Can “love you”, “miss you” really overcome all odds and obstacles in life or has it just become just a common greeting that carries no weight?

Where is the initial passion? Where is the communication? Where is the stability? There are so many things I am not confident of, there are so many things that I have doubts about, there are so many things I dun feel stable about….. How can I move on?

PS:

往往外表坚强的人，内心是最脆弱的。

坚强是用来掩饰脆弱。

坚强是用来保护脆弱。

坚强是用来支持脆弱。

Heartbreak Management

So many years already, but you are still holding on…. For you Glenn, Hope you will have a break thru soon….. 

Heartbreak Management (Part 1)

In the aftermath of a breakup, one of the biggest mis-assumptions we make is that the road has ended for us, well, romantically anyway. We feel that we’ve lost the one and only love of our lives and that no one else will make us feel the way we did with this person.

Certainly at this point, we’re governed more by our hearts than our heads, and the products of our hearts – our emotions – can sometimes grossly miss the mark. All the same, it’s completely understandable to feel that you will never find romantic fulfillment again.

This makes us feel and do certain things – we start replaying the good times in our heads, conveniently leaving out the bad memories; we start to imagine that if they only knew we still missed them so badly, they would come back and give it another shot; you try all sorts of ways to tempt them into talking or meeting up, thinking that this will rekindle old flames and happily lead to a lifetime of bliss together.

What this usually does though, is make it harder and harder for you, or both of you, to get over the relationship. The whole thing then becomes a protracted tug-of-war of “not-knowing-when-or-who-or-what-to-believe”, also known as sleepless nights wondering “what if” or what it “could’ve been”.

Either that or the phone call or meeting turns ugly, what you get is the opposite of what you expected, and now the relationship is well and truly dead. And smelling like it too, since it wasn’t allowed to stay buried. In some cases, what was simply romantic incompatibility turns into hatred and enmity. Now, not only have you lost a partner, you’ve gained an enemy.

When we don’t allow a failed relationship to rest, we usually complicate it further by adding lies, using guilt, tears, threats, memories or shared experiences like friends or businesses. We may even use sex to get the other person back. It usually doesn’t work and only serves to make you feel silly and humiliated, but such tactics are only natural? neither of you are thinking clearly.

After a breakup, the best thing to do (though most of us will find it easier squeezing blood from a rock) is to cut off all contact – no “let’s be friends” pledges because it almost always backfires, no “it’s ok to go out as a bigger group”, no emails, no letters, no little “goodwill” presents, no “innocent” visits to the ex’s family. We always think so highly of our ability to be gracious and mature following a breakup but we almost always end up acting and feeling childish and shameful.

Heartbreak Management (Part 2)

Often after a failed relationship, our thoughts are in turmoil. It’s not uncommon to have mixed feelings and second thoughts about the breakup. And though we might feel that we should articulate these feelings to our ex, that’s the last thing you’d want to do. Calling your ex after a breakup only complicates matters, so if you really can’t keep it inside, talk to a friend or relative instead.

An idle mind is the devil’s workshop, and after a breakup, your brain is particularly susceptible to all sorts of wandering thoughts. So keep yourself busy? be in the company of others as much as you can, and if you can’t help being alone, make sure you have plenty of positive reading material or DVD comedies at hand. Just don’t sit around by yourself and let your mind wander.

People often make the mistake of over-analysing the situation after a breakup, agonizing over the endless possibilities why things went wrong. But don’t second-guess yourself. No amount of analysis will make things clearer. In fact, it just muddies the water. Just trust your gut feeling. If a relationship is wrong, it will feel wrong and you will know.

Don’t allow yourself to be tempted to see your ex “one last time”. All this does is hold you back. It prolongs the agony and adds to the confusion. In the long run, the easiest thing on your spirit and your heart is to make a clean break.

It takes two to make a relationship work. That’s why you should never blame yourself or the other party for the demise of the relationship. No matter how indisputable one party’s guilt may seem, the other party must take responsibility for his or her part in the situation.

Sadness is a funny thing. Though nobody would honestly claim to enjoy being sad, we can become rather attached to it. It can become an uneasy ally, a shroud that both protects and entraps us. It’s our excuse for not making things better. It’s an expression of our hurt. And we often think that by remaining sad, we somehow make the other party feel bad. Which is not true of course, but oh, how we love imagining that it is!

When we are bitter and resentful, we hurt no one but ourselves. If you feel your ex really hurt you, then your best revenge is to show them how good your life can be without them. Remember, no one is worth hurting yourself over, especially not someone who has let you down in some way. Be good to yourself and you’ll find that there is indeed much life and love after a breakup.

A Slice of Life is written, produced and presented by Eugene Loh unless otherwise stated. If you wish to share the scripts with others, please credit it to ‘Eugene Loh, A Slice of Life, 938LIVE, a station of MediaCorp Radio’.

For Ms Rachel

Ok I help you one more time Glenn…. Pls go and get your own blog so that She can read it from ur own mouth and believe me when I say its really from you…. Now she really doubt it ok….. be a MAN…. 

“I have never forgotten the beautiful things. In fact I keep replaying them in my mind, I keep thinking about it in my mind so that i will not forget, so that I will NEVER forget. Actually I am so scared I will forget because the memories with you belongs to me and you and I never wan to lose them for anything.

So no matter how many bad things you have done, or how you have hurt me, as long as I love you, as long as I feel that in my heart you deserved to be loved, I will close a blind eye. It doesn’t mean that it doesn’t bother me, but I choose to let the bad things pass.

But you chose not to bother. I don’t know why. Is it because I have not done enough? Is it because I was not good enough? Whatever it is, you seemed happy now. But the one next to you is not me. And even though it is not me, I am contented to know that you are happy. At least you are wearing a nice smile on your face.

If one day, ever one day when he makes you cry. Pls let me know. Because your tears are precious to me. I want to hold them for you. I never want to see you sad. It kills me whenever you are sad. Even though we may never go back to the past again, everything good remains in my mind and I keep you in my heart, always and forever. I love you.”

I think everyone is lonely. In fact I think everyone gets lonely sometimes. Sigh….