I am tired

Yesterday went to an ex-colleague (Susan)’s wedding dinner at Toa Payoh Fortunate Restaurant. Brought back memories of my own 4 years back cos she attended mine too and Ms Lena was also there.

Guess all brides are happy.  Dun think there would be any unhappy brides around. Brides are at their most beautiful and most radiant and the best during their own wedding. Brides dun mind the hassle, they dun mind the stress, they dun mind the things to be done, they dun mind lots of things. They jus shine. They jus are happy. Its like a moment in a lifetime for them. Walking down the red carpet, walking down the aisle with the man they love, the man they vowed to be with in sickness or health, in fortune or poverty, in spite of anything….

Brides gamble heavily on this day. They use their lives as bet and put down their lives for a gamble of a lifetime. Whether they win or lose, its become part of their lives from that day when they say “I do”. If they win, they get a lifelong companion to grow old with, they get a soulmate, they get the man they love and the man who love them. If they lose, they lose everything.

Will things ever be the same again? Will things get better? I dunno. I cannot guarantee. When things wan to change, you cannot stop them. I wun try to stop also, cos everything else like time, like youth, like opportunites, are all still running. They wun stop for you.

Die, I feel like I have PMS – post menstrual syndrome… hahahahaha…….

I jus feel that if things are not meant for, jus let it go. Dun harp on it. Dun hold too long. Jus turn and walk away and let time heal the wounds. There might be scars, but let these scars be in you to remind you of the story you once shared. At least when you are reminded of the stories, you can smile…..

I wan to do lots of things but lots of things are also stopping me. Damn. I jus wish I was Kurosaki Ichigo in Bleach. Use the Zampaktou and slash all my troubles away like killing the hollows…… Fantasy DOES help ok……

Today I am so tired. Maybe yest I didnt sleep enough. I am so unwilling to nap now in the afternoon cos I am scared I will wake up after a few hours then I cannot sleep. I am scared of the dark. Cos I feel most alone in the dark. The dark scares me cos it always brings out the darkest in me…..

I wish time can jump and move to fri so that I can prepare to go sleep and wake up for my genting trip on sat. I am so excited. But at the same time I am restless…. Maybe too much excitement and having the excitement too early kills the fun….. well…… maybe I really have PMS and maybe I am jus tired…..